Filipino Dating Etiquette

Matchmaking

Dates are, generally speaking, projected through pals and relatives. Filipinos revel in matchmaking. They are always trying to hitch their buddys and family members. Families and mates ask each other for dates. Friends would often come to you and say "I've got a date for you". If a young man has his eye on a girl, he can get a mutual friend to arrange a date with her. Blind dates are very common. In these age of technology, more and more youngsters are drawn to meet ups or “eyeballs”. This is also a form of blind date where textmates, or internet chatmates decide to meet after corresponding for a certain period of time. Although parents do not actually approve of this mode of dating because of the risks involved and it is not really in accordance with the conduct of a “dalagang Pilipina” (proper Filipina lady) , more adventurous and liberated Filipino youths still try to venture into it.

Who Pays?

The boy is mostly expected to spend on dates, even if the arrangement was the girl's idea. If it's a group outing, the boys would apportion the bill between them. This pertains to double dates, etc. different from a friendly outing.

In a friendly outing, such as an office group night out, everyone is expected to chip in the bill especially when there is no agreement as to who will shoulder the bill beforehand. It has become the custom these days to do the “pass the hat” method where the bill plate rotates the table and everyone puts in something until the bill is covered. Other group would contribute money before they go out and give it to a designated treasurer before the event to avoid embarrassment. In this case, everyone enjoys without stripping one person off his wallet.

Chaperone

Some ladies will bring chaperone on a date. The chaperone is customarily either a sister, blood relation or a close friend of the girl who is recognized by the family. The chaperone is, in most cases, a girl. If it is a boy, he would be a blood relation or friend of the family. The chaperone is expected to go everywhere with the couple so it would seem more as a group outing than a date. The boy may bring along a male friend with him so it becomes a double date. As the chaperone is a member of the family or a friend, she is expected to be treated nicely by the couple; so all expenses of the chaperone from rides, snacks, etc. is also to be shouldered by the by boy.

Curfew

A lot of parents set a curfew for their daughters. It is wise to ask a girl of she has one and, if so, to make sure she is home by then. To violate the terms of a curfew is considered a willful disregard of a parents authority and is considered as grave disrespect.

In the old days, when a woman fails to spend the night in her house and is known to have been out with her suitor, the suitor is bound to marry the girl's reputation is tarnished. In order to defend her honor, the suitor is bound to marry her whether or not they slept together is beside the point. These days, parents are still picky when it comes to honor and reputation. As much as possible, they want to avoid their daughter to be the object of "tongue-wagging" which is why they impose strict rules on girls curfew and instruct their daughters very well on how to conduct themselves in public especially in the presence of the opposite sex.

Permission

Girls, customarily, have to ask for permission from their parents to go out and are subject to the third degree before it is approved, so do not be agog when you ask a girl out and she tells you she has to ask permission from her parents first before she commits herself. She will also need the circumstances of where you are going, with whom, and what time she will be brought back. (If you are a new suitor, she will need to know your parents name, what you do for a living, your age, what degree you hold and at which school- in order to survive her parent's cross examination).

The girl’s parents would appreciate it more if you would be the one to ask permission from them to take their daughter out. The reason is that in doing so, you are exhibiting utmost respect on their authority. Parents like traditional Filipino values and this is one such. A man who can summon the courage to face a parent and ask permission is considered a gentleman and is highly regarded. This will actually earn you a lot of brownie points believe me.

Kissing & Holding Hands

Kissing on the first date is taboo. Holding hands is permissible although Filipinas are shy to exhibit any kind of public displays of affection especially in the presence of a chaperone (that is the point of having the chaperone, isn’t it?)