Marriages take many forms in the Philippines: a church wedding in white for Christians; a civil ceremony or registry marriages by a judge, mayor, or minister, weddings in ethnic cultural communities, and the new phenomenon of “mass weddings” on special occasions.

Although a civil marriage performed by a justice of the peace is legitimate, most brides and grooms in the Philippines prefer a church wedding as the same is sanctioned by the Catholic Church. The preparations called for in this kind of a wedding, assuming all the prerequisites of the law have been complied with, are the following:

1. Wedding announcements. The wedding announcement is formally made by the parents of the bride or her guardian which is done by hosting a family dinner with a few close friends invited. This is different from the announcement made by the church called “pagtatawag” made for several days on before or after the celebration of a mass..

2. Despedida de Soltera more commonly known in the West as the bridal shower or shower party can be literally translated as goodbye to spinsterhood.” This is a party given in honor of the bride-to- be by her girl friends. Here, she is given appropriate gifts, often things she would need to start housekeeping with. Traditionally, this serves as an instrument for imparting to her some knowledge about marriage, but today the real motive is usually overlooked and the party becomes an event for teasing the bride-to-be. The groom on the other hand, may be occupied in looking for a house where the couple will stay after marriage while some are treated by their male friends in a “stag” party..

3. Date and Time of the wedding. More often than not, parents have a direct say in the setting of the date, and in this particular aspect of preparation certain superstitious beliefs are often taken into serious consideration. For example, the marriage should take place on a day before the full moon; a day when the moon is waning in considered unlucky. As much as possible getting married in the month of August should be avoided, the numeral stroke of the the chosen day should not end downwards, etc. etc. However, nowadays, the Whole matter is left to the couple, specially if the parents of both participants are college-educated. When the date of the wedding is set, the time and place will likewise be agreed upon.

4. The wedding Entourage. Generally, the preparation of the Wedding ensemble is left entirely in the hands of the bride-to-be but usually representatives from the family of both bride and groom are accomodated to avoid offending the family and assure the couple of the whole family’s attendance.

5. Wedding invitation. Invitations to the wedding are prepared early enough. The correct form for a wedding invitation can be seen at the printer’s office. All that is needed is to supply him with the proper names as well as the date, the time and the place of both the wedding ceremony and the reception. Invitations are sent out early enough to reach those invited on time. The list of guests is made out by both parties, usually with the help of parents.

6 .Wedding rehearsals. In the Philippines a wedding rehearsal is an exception rather than the rule. The families and friends of the bride or groom do not worry about seating arrangements in the church. It is enough that they attend the wedding. Those who participate in the ceremony rely upon a church assistant, usually the sacristian mayor, to instruct them on what to do. They also assign a host of ushers and usherettes at the door of the church who will be able to identify the visitors from both side of the family and will be able to usher them to their seating areas. However, at present a well organized church’s priest or pastor sometimes requires the bride and groom not only to attend a seminar on marriage but also to rehearse the wedding ceremony together with the whole entourage one or two days before the wedding day.

7. The wedding reception. The setting for the wedding reception usually depends upon the place where the wedding ceremony will take place. Traditionally, wedding receptions are held at the home of the bride, and they become the affair of the entire community, not of a selected few only. Thus, the wedding reception becomes a heavy financial burden on the groom and his parents. Today the trend is to have the wedding ceremony in the city and the reception at a restaurant or a big hotel who offer wedding packages and caterers. In this way, the couple is not burdened to more than what they can afford without the sacrificing the elegance of the occasion.

8. The Honeymoon. Having a wedding trip immediately after the wedding ceremony and reception is a practice introduced by the Westerners in the Philippines. Among urban Filipinos the wedding trip, sometimes called “honeymoon” involves going to Baguio or to Tagaytay City. Among the more affluent ones, it means a trip to United States, Hawaii, Singapore or Hong Kong. Among the rural folks such wedding trip is not so much practiced. The newlyweds start building their own home instead.

The Wedding Day

On the day of the wedding, the bridesmaids meet at the house of the bride, where they receive their bouquets, have their hair and make up done, etc. When everyone is ready, the bride’s mother drives away to the church in the first car, with perhaps others of her children or one of the bridesmaids with her. Maid of honor, bridesmaids and flower girls follow. Last of all, the bride and her father. This car remains in front of the church entrance.

About an hour before the ceremony, the ushers arrive at the church. Their boutonnières, sent by the groom are waiting in the vestibule. The ushers most likely to recognize the friends and members of each family are detailed to the center aisle. Those who will escort the mothers of the bride and groom are assigned.

A few pews on either side of the center aisle are reserved for the immediate families of the couple. The left is the “bride’s side” and the right the groom’s.

The Processional

As the wedding music is played, the bridal procession starts usually in this order :

(1) the ushers coming in by two;
(2) the veil, candle, and cord sponsors coming in by pairs
(3) the bride- groom flanked by his parents
(4) the bride’s mother escorted by an usher
(5) the principal sponsors in pairs
(6) the ring bearer
(7) the flower girl who throws flowers as she walks in
(8) the bridesmaids and the maid or matron of honor walking singly, and finally,
(9) the bride at her father’s left walking more slowly than the others before them.

At the chancel, the ushers stand one at the right and another at the left. The bridesmaids stand at the left, with the maid of honor standing opposite the best man at the right side. The flower girl stands in front of the bridesmaids; the ring bearer in font of the best man. The bridegroom stands at the right with the best man beside him. The principal sponsors are seated, the ladies at the left side and the gentlemen at the right near the bride’s and the bridegroom’s parents.

As soon as the priest comes in to officiate in the ceremony, the bride takes the bridegroom’s left arm and they go slowly up the altar. The best man follows to the right of the groom while the maid of honor follows at the left of the bride. The bridal bouquet is handed over to the maid of honor.

In Roman Catholic ceremonies, the bride’s father joins his Wife as soon as the bridegroom takes his daughter’s hand. In Protestant weddings, the father remains at his daughter’s left until he is called upon by the minister to give away her hand in marriage. Then he sits beside his wife.

Catholic ceremonies usually are held with the Nuptial mass as its high point. Here the members of the bridal party as well as the other Catholic members take part in the Holy Communion.

Wedding fees paid to the church differ in amount depending upon the kind of ceremony desired by the couple to be married.

Custom dictates, however, that the man or the man’s parents shoulder the expenses of the wedding. On the other hand, there are times when the bride-to-be or her parents take care of this matter, specially if they are relatively well-to-do.More simple weddings cost less while those with all the trimmings -flowers, lights, soloists, organist, carpets, etc. call for bigger fees that may run up to thousands of pesos.

The Wedding Reception

After the wedding ceremony, the priest declares the couple husband and wife and then a recessional follows with the couple going out first. The other participants follow in the reverse order than they came in. The bridal party and all the other guests then go to the reception place which in the city may be in a plush restaurant, a hotel or the bride’s house in the rural places.

Gifts to the newlyweds are brought to the reception or are sent to the bride’s residence.

What to Wear to a Wedding

Weddings are usually formal affairs so guests dress formally : a long skirt or formal dress for the women, and coat and tie or “barong tagalog” for the men. Black is never worn in wedding feasts. Black for Filipinos is a symbol of sorrow. Short dresses or pantsuits for the women and sport shirts for men are not worn in wedding ceremonies, either.

Women should wear modest clothes; no revealing, plunging necklines or backless, seamless gowns. A long skirt, or one that covers the knees and a long-sleeved blouse is in good taste. They also put on their jewelry. Children wear their party clothes.