1. Marriage to Filipinos is a lifelong commitment which is why there is, generally speaking, no divorce in the Philippines. It is not a spur of the moment thing or a product of a passing fling. It is from this idea that all other marital traits of Filipinas come from, faithfulness, understanding, patience, etc. She will stick with you through thick and thin because when a Filipina commits to a marriage that means you are the one and the only one. Most Filipinas who get widowed don’t even remarry even when there is no prohibition to the contrary because of this “one true love” idea.

1. Marriage to Filipinos is a lifelong commitment which is why there is, generally speaking, no divorce in the Philippines. It is not a spur of the moment thing or a product of a passing fling. It is from this idea that all other marital traits of Filipinas come from, faithfulness, understanding, patience, etc. She will stick with you through thick and thin because when a Filipina commits to a marriage that means you are the one and the only one. Most Filipinas who get widowed don’t even remarry even when there is no prohibition to the contrary because of this “one true love” idea.

2. Filipinos are very superstituos. The degree of superstition depends on a Filipina’s level of education, family background and the environment that she came from. If you are marrying someone who is not very much educated and comes from a remote province, chances are their lives are governed by superstition. Do not be surprised if she prefers to consult the quack rather than a real doctor for her illnesses.

3. Recycling is everywhere especially in foodstuff. Because of the poverty in the country, Filipinos try to save whatever scrap they can from clothes to old newspapers and bottles and newspapers and sell them to junk shops. The poorer families who can’t afford to buy new clothes buy clothes from second hand clothes shop. Leftover foods are recycled to resemble a different dish for the next meal. Of course they are edible and clean and recycling of food is only done once not forevermore. Scared you there, didn’t I? Oh and incidentally, I might have to add, for the benefit of the British, who are thinking of marrying Filipinas, we do eat most parts of the pig and we serve these parts visibly in the dish. I just learned that Brits don’t like being served meat where they can tell what animal part it is. It was a shock for my husband when he saw a whole “lechon” (roasted pig complete with it’s head) in our wedding and the people were all going yum! Hehehe!

4. Filipinos are social butterflies. When you marry a Filipina you will gain an army load of friends and another big family (extended family with uncles, aunties, cousins, degree cousins, grandparents, etc. You should understand that when you marry a Filipina you are not just marrying her, you are marrying her, her family and her friends. It doesn’t seem so bad that way but it’s worth a thought if you are a man who values his privacy so much. It could be a big problem if you are not ready to lighten up because a Filipina will always be a part of her Family. We have a saying “we can have as many spouses as we want but we can only have one family”. So if we are made to choose, family always comes first. That’s why it is always good to seek the blessing of the family before getting married. Also friends will always be a part of a Filipina’s life, these are people who do not need an appointment to see you. They don’t have to call and say, “Are you available on Tuesday? I want to visit you”. They just turn up in your doorstep unannounced. Friendship to Filipinos is very deep. I find it more like sisterhood than anything else and it cannot be severed that easily no matter how far we go. Friend’s and family’s decision could also be crucial in the courting stage so it’s better to be in their good grace at all times.

5. The man generally shoulders the cost of the wedding, that’s traditional; except when you are marrying an ultra modern girl from the city who insists on sharing a portion of it. But a man is generally expected to refuse because it mirrors his capacity to support his family in the future.

6. If in other culture the girl gives dowry, in traditional Filipino family, the man gives dowry. This is no longer widely practiced these days. I just thought it is worth to mention because my husband once joked about me not giving him a dowry. I said in our culture he should be giving me a dowry, silly boy!

7. In traditional Filipino families like in remote provinces they still practice, the “paninilbihan” whereby the man who is asking the lady’s hand in marriage should woo and serve the family of the girl in whatever way he can to show his sincerity. This is interesting because he can be made to fetch water in a well somewhere or ask to chop firewood or help the father put up the fence, etc. It’s actual physical toil. Also they have to bring the family gifts and sing to the girl “haranas” (love songs) by the window of the house at night. This is the “Maria Clara” type of courting during the Spanish time. It is believed that in this way, they will treasure the girl more because of the hardship they go through just to have her. “It is not easy to throw away something so precious”.

In modern families these days, it is enough for man to show the lady’s family that he love and respect her and he is sincere in marrying her.

8. Now, this is very important. If you are going to marry a Filipina you should understand this point very well because this is always a cause of misunderstanding to most Filipino-Western couple when a Filipina is not able to explain this point properly to her husband. Because of our strong family ties, all Filipinos have a responsibility to the family. It is different from the west whereby when one gets married they are on their own. No it’s not. Even when a Filipina gets married, she’s still a part of her family, she still recognizes the authority of her parents and she would never turn her back on them no matter the distance. Filipinos are very selfless people. They would like as much as possible to alleviate their parent’s/family’s burden that’s why whenever they have a little extra money or they are in a better position to help they send money home. This is done by every Filipino not only by the ones married to western men. Filipino’s who go abroad to work sacrifice’s a lot to earn more money so they can send them all back home and send their children & siblings to school and help their parent’s out. Even the one’s who are working in the Philippines do give money to their parents. We just see things this way: our parent’s took care of us most of their lives so when we grow up it is incumbent upon us to take care of them. We owe them a debt of gratitude that money can’t buyy but we are thankful. If we can help them in any way that we can, we will.

So if you are contemplating of marrying one of us, you have to be ready for this, she will have to send money home and it won’t be right for you to stop tradition and if you’re not ready for it then better not marry a Pinay because you will be a big disappointment to her and to her family. But a word of caution, there is reasonable giving and there is “being taken advantaged of”. Just use common sense, ok? You are not duty-bound to support her entire clan or her sister’s families. It all just boils down to her immediate family, her parents, brothers and sister, not their spouses.

9. They are domesticated and very clean and they might have to ask you to comply with their standards but in a nice way.

10. Filipinos are big families so they would most likely expect you to have a big family as well. If you’re not expecting to have any children then think twice before getting married. There is always a disappointed look when someone asks me why I haven’t given birth until now, 4 years after we got married. It’s only because I have ovarian problems. They always follow it with a question “who’s gonna take care of you when you grow old?” Funny isn’t it? We believe a person who dislikes children is not a good person at all.

11. I cannot really stress how much important family is to Filipinos, if we are made to choose between family and taking care of an elderly and sick parent, there is no question, we will choose our parents. I’ve explained that in no. 7 Children are expected to take care of their parents when they grow old which is why we do not have many care homes in the Philippines. It is a disgrace for someone to send their parents to care homes. That is seen as blatant ungratefulness.

12. Filipinos are very religious. We are a Roman Catholic nation and yes we have statues of saints but you have to understand that we do not worship them. The Roman Catholic religion also worships one God, the saints are merely intercessors of our prayers and the statues are just reminders for us to do good as they did when they were still alive so please don’t be offended if your wife has them in your house. We can co-exist with other religion without any problem if there is respect of each other’s choice isn’t it? There are a few who might have to ask you to convert but it is very unusual.

13. If you married a Filipina who’s never been outside the country, on your first trip out, she would seem very naïve at first but will eventually get use to it and adjust. Girls who come from a bit lower strata in the Filipino society might find it a bit harder especially if your social circle is not the same as hers in your country. It is incumbent upon you to educate her a bit more but you have to be very patient.

14. Filipinos have so much pride in them. Yes we are a poor country and most Filipinas are sweet but never insult a Filipina because she could flare up like you’ve never seen before. I found this out actually myself, some Asians would curl up when they are insulted but not Filipinos, they fight back. I think it’s the Spanish friar’s blood in us. Actually the poorer the Filipino the prouder so it always pay to watch your language. Normally, Filipinos are sweet. They are if you’re nice but they’re fierce if you’re mean.

15. Connected with no. 13, Filipinos have an apt for vengeance. If you hurt them, they will hurt you back. It might not be in the same way but they will find a way to make you feel how you made them feel.

I think it is incumbent upon any Filipina girlfriend to inform their foreign boyfriends about these things before they even propose; lay the cards on the table before everything begins. There shouldn’t be any problem if you just stick with the rules. Anyway, you are gaining yourself a loving, faithful and beautiful wife.